Severe Insomnia

So, I've had a crazy three week stint of insomnia, where the most sleep I've gotten is two nights of 6 hours (with the aid of sleeping pills), and the rest has been 3, with 6 days of no sleep at all... and several times of taking sleeping pills without sleeping and just having the nausea and tummy-aches for nothing...
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO this post is to share what I've learned from this about insomnia and what I've learned about myself and to celebrate that for the first night since the week before mother's day I have slept!! HOOOOORRRRRAAAAAHHHHH!

So, much of what I learned about insomnia I learned from the Mayo Clinic website, my sister, and the library. Here you go:

Sometimes you get insomnia because you have something life-changing happen (someone dies, or you're getting married, buying a house, a new baby etc) or because you are stressed about something (finals, work, whatever). Sometimes it comes from bad sleeping habits -- too many nights staying up cleaning or whatever. Or sometimes, it happens like it seemed to for me, for no good reason at all.

What's condusive to good sleep? A clean room. A regular sleep time. A sleep routine (reading, brushing teeth, soaking feet). A dark room. Ear plugs or a noise machine... don't stress about not sleeping -- for the most part other than headaches, you can still get through the day on a lot of prayer. What if all that's not working? Well, check with your doctor to rule out your thyroid or other problems. Possibly taking a sleeping pill, or a melatonin supplement which doesn't work for everyone, just those whose body is not producing enough melatonin on their own. I tried that last night. My doctor, who'd experienced severe insomnia last year when his father died, suggested counting breaths -- every time you exhale counting. I just did 1-10 over and over and then I'd wake up and realize I'd slept. It was wonderful!!

What I've learned from this experience:
God listens to all our prayers and helps you do the things you need to do, even if it's difficult at times. Even if He doesn't take the trial immediately away (I don't know how many times I've prayed to sleep in the past 3 weeks), He's still there and loves us.

I love Ryan more every day. He's slept on the couch a lot recently, worried that his snoring was part of my problem. He is so selfless and kind, and so willing to 'roll with the punches' if the house isn't as clean as I'd like, or watch the girls so I can take a bath, or make dinner... he's amazing. He is pretty much superman, and I love him madly!

I love my sister, Jenny, who has experienced so much. It's too bad for her that she's been the trail blazer on somethings, but it's been great for the rest of us, because it was nice to know that she knew what I felt like. She's awesome.

So, the break-down. I love God, and He loves me. I love my husband, and he loves me. I love my kids and they love me. I love my sister, and she loves me. I love my family, and they love me.

Essentially wordless...

I love Esther's blue eyes...














I love my girls, and my wonderful husband...


























I love Esther's new teethy grins (6 new teeth on top)

I'll never go back...

So, there are some things that I would've called extreme-hippie when I was younger, but now I'll never go back...

cloth diapering (I'm not always 100% on this, but I'd say I cloth diaper 75% of the time and it saves me loads of money and keeps my laundry machine running for background noise :). But I do think it's much easier diapering your own kids -- when my sister, or sister in law, first suggested cloth diapering, I thought "ew, gross". I almost puked on my nephew when I changed his diaper and couldn't bring myself to clean it, so my poor brother in law had a stash to clean when he got home from the hospital with my sister and her new baby. Needless to say, I was weak-sauce and maybe not the best helper, but when it comes to my own kids -- I CAN do it! :)

on this same note using the inserts from our cloth diapers (bumGenius variety) as menstrual pads. I don't like pads, or tampons... pretty much I just don't really like having my period, but these at least make it SUPER comfortable!! They are shaped like a pad and soft and you don't have to worry about them leaking through because they're so thick and they're much more breathable. If you have those type of diapers for your kids, try it... Okay, I've said my peace on that.

Using Lanolin. So, I bought lanolin when I had Amy and had cracked nipples. But, it has many more uses than that -- I found it is about the BEST chapstick anyone could hope for. It's initially really sticky when you put it on, kind of the consistency of honey, but then it moisturizes so much better. I also found it is a main ingredient in some of the bum cream I like using for the girls, so I started using it straight on Esther's bum and her rash has cleared up really fast. I also use it when I get cracked skin in the winter.

Washing my hair twice a week or less. I had never considered this... ever, until I had a friend with very cute curly hair tell me that she never uses shampoo because it dries her hair out too much. I was stunned that she mainly does a vinegar rinse on her hair and uses conditioner. Wow! I was looking to do something different with my hair, because it seemed to get oily way too fast. Who would've thought this would be the answer -- We shower every day, but I only wash my hair on Wednesdays and Saturdays, and once a month I use Apple Cider Vinegar on my hair to rinse it and it feels so silky smooth and soft afterwards. Things I've noticed? 1- My hair doesn't get oily as fast... by Wednesday I look forward to shampooing it, but it doesn't look oily... just shiny. 2- I'm saving lots of money on shampoo and conditioner and could maybe even afford to buy the type I really like, 3- I can finally remember what day I'm supposed to wash my hair, 4- my hair looks healthier and is not as brittle as it used to be, so it's growing faster.

Applesauce. I started using applesauce instead of oil because the only oil we had was extra virgin olive oil and I though the taste would be too strong in my bread. My bread not only still tastes as great, but it's fewer calories, and you can use applesauce in SO many things. I recently started subbing it in when I make cake mixes too. I made cookies last week with no butter or oil -- it had applesauce and bananas. They're not bad for being so healthy. (If you want the recipe, it's on the Everyday Inspirations blog: http://www.365inspirations.com/1/post/2011/03/healthy-chocolate-chip-cookies.html)

Fat Free Plain Yogurt. I don't buy sour cream anymore -- and this is much more versatile... I can use it to make smoothies AND use it in place of sour cream in alfredo sauce, or on our burritos. I love it (though Ryan sometimes wishes we'd just get sour cream, but he's a good sport) and if our family can grow up being used to that, all the better for them.

Making my own lotion. I make my own lotion with coconut and olive oil, and lavender or jasmine essential oil for fragrance. I LOVE it.

Making my own soap. I made my own soap with a friend a few weeks ago (Jasmine) and I love it too! It lathers so nice and though I'll have to track down where to buy lye sometime, I think I'm going to keep making my own. It ended up being about 7$ for 20 bars of soap.

Easter Egg Hunt! :)

Amy had her first Easter-egg hunt... we tried telling her that eggs represent new life, and that Jesus made it possible for us to have new life, but she mainly gets that eggs come from chickens. :)












She really enjoyed finding all the eggs.











Here's our little blue eyes -- she has been constipated this past week, poor baby, but thankfully we're on the mend. She'd eaten solid foods for almost a month before she had problems with it, but now we're back to solely breastfeeding.








She's quite flexible, just like Amy. She's also going to have almost all her teeth on top in the next few weeks... she has to date: two center bottom teeth, her left front tooth and the one next to it, and her right canine. I can only imagine the ones in between will come soon.








It is kind of a bitter-sweet day... sweet because we get to have an easter egg hunt and treats, bitter because we have a funeral to help with of a baby.
I cannot fathom losing a child, or how difficult that would be to lose one shortly after birth with all the medical expenses already on top of you. I've been thinking a lot more about the resurrection and about how grateful I am for it. My favorite talk about the resurrection is "Sunday will come" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. I include part of it here:

"The Resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. The Apostle Paul said, “If Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and [our] faith is also vain.”

In all the history of the world there have been many great and wise souls, many of whom claimed special knowledge of God. But when the Savior rose from the tomb, He did something no one had ever done. He did something no one else could do. He broke the bonds of death, not only for Himself but for all who have ever lived—the just and the unjust.

When Christ rose from the grave, becoming the firstfruits of the Resurrection, He made that gift available to all. And with that sublime act, He softened the devastating, consuming sorrow that gnaws at the souls of those who have lost precious loved ones.

I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross.

On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.

Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day they stood triumphant.

On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.

Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.

On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.

On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled.

It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.

I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

But the doom of that day did not endure.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.

I testify to you that the Resurrection is not a fable."

I also testify that I know that Christ's resurrection makes our hope and happiness possible, and makes it possible for us to be reunited with our families and live forever with them when we are sealed by the holy priesthood in God's Temples. I am grateful for this knowledge, and only hope that I can always retain my testimony of these things. We hope you have a wonderful Easter and remember Him can smile and be filled with hope. "Uns zur Freud ist er geboren, denn sonnst waeren wir verloren. Er vertreibet alles Weh." (He was born for us to bring us joy, because without Him we'd be lost. He will cast away/heal all sorrow)

Happy Birthday

Dear Best Friend,


I'm really glad you were born...









You've made my life sweeter than words adequately express...












I love what a fabulous husband and father you are... how much you make me laugh, and how much you recharge me when I'm with you. I love you, and your girls love you.






You are so selfless and kind, such a great listener and friend... I'm so very very glad we're married.













So that we can have adorable munchkins that look like you! :)
-Happy Birthday, Sweetie!!

Some photos

We visited my parent's orchard...









It was a lot of fun. :)

bubbles

Ryan bought our crazy-pasey girl a bubble machine... and she LOVES it!!