Comparison on the bellies for last month

I was wondering how much more I'm "showing" since last time I posted...so here are two next to each other.

Our White Christmas

Ryan and I had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together. Ryan got off work early Wednesday and we spent most of the day playing card games and boardgames together. We also watched movies and in a word "relaxed". In the evening we read the Christmas story out of Luke with the lovely light of our small Christmas tree and snuggled up to watch "Muppet Christmas Carol". We also opened all of our presents (a tradition somewhat started by my Dad so that he could sleep in Christmas day) All in all, a wonderful Christmas.

The next morning it SNOWED!! It was beautiful, but probably not as fun for Ryan to shovel.

Childhood Memories

I've been thinking a lot about what Christmas meant to me as a small child and a lot of wonderful memories emerged. They were helped along by a tape of our childhood that my sister sent me, complete with me lisping Rudolf the Red Nothed Raindeer and Book of Mormon Thtorieth with wide eyes. I was a ham as a child... I'm not sure much has changed.

One of my favorite things about Christmas was eating. Sounds funny, but let me explain. My Dad being a physician and careful about his own weight meant that our house was not decked out with treats usually. We're grape-nuts people... But at Christmas time there was this magical transformation -- our house got dumped on with goodies, some from doctors from work, some from neighbors and friends. The result was our counters were loaded up with nuts, and chocolates that we could cut open and peek at what was inside, and all sorts of other goodies. The best part was my Dad, who normally avoided all that stuff, joined in the fun. Treats used to be somewhat magical in my youth. Now, though I like them, they're not nearly as fascinating, so that's one memory I like from my childhood that I can't really go back to. It was the setting that made them magical.

I grew up in a mountain home community and lived at the top of the right fork. Our house had plenty of snow to play in, build tunnels through and all we had to do to go sledding was hike up the back yard a bit. I have fond memories of playing outside until it became too dark, then coming in to have mugs of hot chocolate my Mom would have ready for us. Another really fun thing about playing in the snow was sliding off our roof. The second garage was an A frame and touched the ground on one side. We usually had a snow pack of about 2 feet, and you could just walk right up to the top of the roof and create a small avalanche as you slid down. It was best to be the first, because after a while it got bumpy and super slick. If you wanted additional speed, you could always sit on a garbage sack.

My Mom was an avid Christmas caroler. She would make banana bread or her whole wheat bread and bundle us up to go sing to our neighbors and deliver the loot. She also was an avid fan of the Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and I remember watching that often as a family. That is a fond Christmas memory.

My Mom also loves puzzles, and I have many memories of working on puzzles with my siblings and her in the library with the warmth of the stove heating us. Sometimes my Dad read books aloud to us and one year I read Pride and Prejudice around. There was a mirth at being able to be inside whilst it was a white blizzard-y wonderland outside. The crackling and popping of the logs in the stove was also wonderful and added to the general ambiance.

My Dad often had to work on Christmas, or would get back late Christmas Eve. My Mom wanted to start a tradition where we opened one gift on Christmas Eve and then the rest Christmas morning. The idea was to let Dad take part in us opening the presents. But what inevitably happened was my Dad would egg us on to open all the gifts so he either wouldn't miss anything, or so he could sleep in Christmas morning. Then Christmas morning he'd make a pancake breakfast for us.

I am grateful for the time we spend with our families at Christmas and the wonder and glee of my childhood. I'm grateful for my parents teaching me the gospel so that we can treasure Christ's birth not only at Christmas, but all year long as well. I don't know that we did extra studying at Christmas, other than reading Luke, but it was very much a habit for the rest of the year that I think I was able to understand somewhat what Christmas was supposed to be celebrating. I'm sure as a kid though I thought more about presents. I love Christmases now too and love being able to establish Christmas traditions with my best friend and sweet husband, Ryan. I hope we can create wonderful memories for our children as well.

Miracles

Over the past year Ryan and I have been recipients of many miraculous gifts. It has made it very evident that God is aware of us and our needs. It also shows that people not only listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost to bless others (our) lives, but they do so very well.

The $30 miracle:
Last Thanksgiving time when Ryan's job decreased in hours, money was really tight. The sort of tight that $5 seems like a huge deal to me. The Canyon Ward had made a cookbook and both my Mom and my sister had ordered one. I was contacted that I needed to buy not only mine ($10) but Jenny's and my Mom's. It was really hard for me to think of parting with $30 all at once. That very night when we got home there was a knock on the door late at night. Ryan and I didn't answer the door because he worked early and we were already in bed. The next morning, Ryan checked our mailbox and found a note with $30 inside. "Hope this helps" was the jist of the note. We still would have been super appreciative if it had been $10 or $20, but the fact that it was $30 was quite amazing.

The $70 miracle:
A few months ago I really wanted to buy some maternity clothes, but we had car insurance bills to pay and there was just no money for it. I told myself it was okay -- I could make it longer without getting it. Again, there was a knock on our door, but this time I answered it really fast, but no one was there. There was an envelope containing $70 with a note inside: "Hope this helps you buy some maternity clothes". Again, we were very grateful to have the money, but the fact that they talked about buying maternity clothes with it was uncanny. Not a coincidence.

The Grocery Miracle:
I was looking forward to getting paid because I really wanted to buy some groceries. Money has been tight with our new apartment and the deposit and rent. I wanted to buy some veggies, and some oranges, and Ryan and I even talked about buying a turkey because they were marked down, but they were still too expensive because of how much they weighed. Well, Monday Ryan and I stepped out onto our doorstep to go to a FHE with some friends of ours. Our porch was covered with grocery sacks... there was not only a bag of oranges, a small turkey and spinach, and frozen veggies... but there was also Hamburger helper, lunch meat and cheese (which Ryan loves) and every thing in the bags was things that Ryan and I eat and would buy if we had money.

It is my testimony that God loves us, and uses His children to bless the lives of His other children. I hope Ryan and I can also learn to heed the promptings of the Spirit as these people have done. For now, the only thing we know to do is "pay it forward" and try to treat everyone as if they were the one that blessed us. I know God is aware of us.

"Cristes Maesses" -- Old English for Christ's mass

Christmas time is one of my ABSOLUTE favorite times of year -- I love decorating the house, being with family, getting presents for those I love, drinking hot chocolate and being bundled up in blankets...

It seems that during the Christmas season, people find it easier to look outside of themselves and help others. I wish people could be that happy usually, but at least I am thankful that it seems to be contagious during that time of the year. In a world that has increasingly materialized 'Christmas', Ryan and I have talked a lot about the traditions we would like to have in our home. Having not been raised to believe in Santa Claus myself I've wondered what things I want to teach my children and which ones I think I'd rather leave out. (Don't worry about my childhood -- I didn't and don't feel the least bit deprived from not having been into Santa... in fact, it was pretty funny when they'd have Santa come to Christmas parties etc and all the kids would sit on his lap and get a picture... I probably always wore a super skeptical face, like "hey, just because you're a fat jolly looking old guy doesn't mean I'm going to tell you anything". My parents just never bothered with that aspect of Christmas, and I have to say it's nice in one aspect that credit went to where it was due... I knew that my MOM was watching me so I better not pout and I could show gratitude to her and my siblings for the gifts I received)

Well, being a history major, I figured I might as well go back to the beginning (which historical tidbits are included under the Christmas tree entry) or at least the word definition. Cristes Maesses... Christ's mass. And, since I'm not Catholic, I'll translate that into my own terms -- a celebration of the sacrament. I think it's wonderful that we celebrate this holiday, even if we attend church weekly. Think about it: because Christ atoned for our sins, we can partake of the sacrament and renew our baptismal covenants with Him. We can be washed clean from our mistakes, because He gave His sinless life as a ransom for us. I'm really thankful for that. It truly is something to be merry about.

I really like Christmas carols and several German ones have been often on my mind of late. The translation of the last stanza in "Hark the Harold Angels Sing" is: "uns zur Freud ist er geboren, denn sonnst waeren wir verloren, er vertreibet alles weh, hosianna...bringt dem Vater lob und dank." That is essentially: "He was born so that we might have joy, because without Him we'd be lost. He can cast out all pain, hosianna... bring the Father praise and thanks." Another carol is "Ring Out Wild Bells", but again in German. It's last stanza says "allein in Jesus steht unser Glueck" which means only in Jesus can we find happiness. I know that to be true. I know that He was the Savior of the world and invites all to come to Him to have their burdens (whether that be trials, sickness, heartache or sin) lifted. I know He understands us... I want our Christmas traditions to put credit where credit is due: on Christ.

Gifts

Christmas is definitely a time for giving -- for sacrificing a little money, or time, or effort, to make someone else happy. I don't think anyone doesn't like getting presents. Christmas gifts are looked forward to especially by children, but I think it is nice to remember the gift that our Heavenly Father gave us: "For God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) Truly, what greater gift could we have than the chance to repent and overcome our trials and sins and return to live with our Heavenly Father again. I definitely plan on having gifts be an aspect of our Christmas tradition, but I hope we can teach our children to be more excited about giving than getting, and more thankful for Christ's gift than for a doll or sneakers.

Holly and Wreaths

Holly symbolizes the crown of thorns Christ wore, and the berries symbolize the blood He shed for us. I like the idea of incorporating that into our Christmas decorating.




Wreaths symbolize how love can be eternal. Surely Christ's atonement made it possible for us to enjoy family relationships beyond the grave and that is something I'm very thankful to know about.

O Tannenbaum -- Christmas Trees

Christmas trees have a fascinating history. The way we decorate them now, or how Germans used to light candles and deck the tree with those (not so fire safe) didn't evolve till later. Their origin is quite interesting though.

But to understand, we'll have to go back to 350 A.D. when Pope Julius 1 declared December 25th as the day Christendom would celebrate Christ's birth. Christianity was legalized by this time with an edict in 313 A.D. by Constantine. After the Council of Nicea Christianity was at least more unified for Constantine's empire, so Christianity was becoming more of a force. The Romans were celebrating the winter solstice on the 25th of December with great feasts. Some think the Pope set this as the day to celebrate Christ's birth to make it easier for pagan Roman's to transition to Christianity -- kind of the idea of "hey, if you join, you can still have a big party on the 25th, but now it will be to celebrate Christ's birth, not the sun God Saturn."

Over the years, and especially during what is called "the dark ages", paradise plays became popular in conjunction with celebrating Christ's birth. A Paradise play essentially depicted the fall of Adam and Eve, and then celebrated the following day how Christ was born to redeem us from the fall. Now, you can understand that if you cut down a maple tree for a prop of the Tree from the Garden of Eden, you'd only get a few acts in before all your leaves were gone. So, they cut down evergreens. They decorated them with apples to symbolize the forbidden fruit.

Well, some actors/actresses took their roles a little too seriously and some lewdness apparently was a problem, so the Pope banned the Paradise plays. People had become so accustom to celebrating "the feast of Adam and Eve" on December 24th, that they just cut down their own 'Paradise trees' and decorated them. They apparently decorated them with apples and with wafers (symbolic of the sacrament) so that the tree represented not only the Fall of Mankind, but Redemption of Mankind through Christ. Other decorations evolved over the years.

Current symbolism behind the Christmas tree:

Evergreen: green symbolizes 'hope' in a lot of ancient artwork. In the Convent in Celle, Germany which I visited on my mission, when it depicted Christ's resurrection, Christ was wearing green, and had a green halo like aura about Him. It's possible that it represented hope because it is the color of many living plants, and evergreen trees would be pretty nice to look upon during the cold and barren winters.
Symbolizes the Fall of Mankind and Christ's atonement for mankind -- Christ was after all nailed to a tree.
It's needles point heaven ward.
We put lights on the tree to symbolize how Christ is the light of the world.

The Candy Cane

The symbolism we currently associate with the candy cane didn't fully come about until the candy came to America. It is true that in Koeln Germany (aka Cologne) in the 1700s a pastor had some candy sticks bent into the shape of a cane to reward those children who were good through the church service near the time when Christ's birth was celebrated, but they used to be plain white. When they came to America, we added stripes.

This is the current symbolism behind the candy cane:

1. Shaped like a shepherd's crook -- because Christ is the good shepherd
2. a hard candy -- because Christ is the rock on which we must build
3. peppermint flavored -- hyssop is also in the peppermint family and was used as part of purification rituals in the Old Testament. The flavor symbolizes how Christ's atoning sacrifice was a pure and worthy sacrifice.
4. white -- for Christ's purity
5. red striped -- for the stripes (whippings and suffering) He bore in our behalf.

So, in a word, I'm all about candy canes as part of our Christmas tradition.

The Joys of Parenting...or learning about it

As you all know, I work at a day care. There are quite a few little tikes, complete with totally different needs and personalities. Let me give you the breakdown: Morgie-moo is 8 months old -- she's teething, learning to eat some new foods and successfully crawled yesterday. She's cute and chubby, but gets jealous if anyone comes near you when you're holding her. Next is Ayo -- a tiny-tot with cute lamb hair, he hates going to bed. He cries if he sees a blanket.
Then you have the two cute blond chubby ones: Kyler and Zilli-zoo. Though they're not related, they look like they could be. There's a remarkable difference in communication between the two: Zillia is younger, but has a HUGE vocabulary. She and I are buddies (because I read her stories) and when I come to work she screams with glee "Kissina, Kissina". [Close enough for me] Kyler on the other hand does little more than grunt like a cow. I have taught him to rub his belly to say "please" when he wants something though, and I'm very happy about that. Both these tikes are happy-go-lucky for the most part and give great cuddly hugs.
Then you have Zachie, Winter, Koda and Katie. They are the 2-3 year olds. Koda is almost mute (meaning he's a quiet kid) but he loves dinosaurs and buzz lightyear. Zachie delights in the reaction he gets when he steals toys from other kids. He's a bit mischevious, but sweet in his own right. He can surprise me sometimes by how sharing he can be, but it's never a surprise when someone's crying about a stolen toy as to WHO stole it. I chase him around a lot retrieving said stolen toys. Winter is my drama queen. She's very cute, but falls in a heap of sobs on the floor when anything doesn't go her way. The sobs usually get louder if you pay attention to her, but if you ignore her, she's soon her happy cute self again. Katie rattles off all the time, but I can't really understand her. Her mom makes a great effort to keep her hair done, which always makes her look cute. She loves to read and will often sit with a book mumbling nonesense outloud to herself.
Then you have Adam and Kennedy...the four year olds. They have a "hee-hee-haw-haw-wahhhh!" relationship. Atleast several times a day I will momentarily ban them from playing with each other because they've made each other upset and angry and are fighting. Usually, they are fairly well behaved and expert tattlers.
Then there are Joshua and Matthew. Joshua is actually a great help -- he's mature and keeps track of the kids, intervenes when two kids are fighting and can be my "eyes and ears" if I'm taking a kid to time out. He is also a tattler, but with nothing to gain from it, so generally he's just telling me what really happened.
Matthew is a little older, and I am currently trying to help him buckle down and do his piano practicing. It has taught me a valuable lesson: kids don't like piano practicing, but it's good for them. He's slowly learning how to sing along with the notes (since he has to say their names out loud when he plays them). I've decided that I am going to suffer through trying to get my kids to do piano practice, even if they don't like it, because I like singers. I remind myself when things get tough, that Matthew...and the others, have not become the wonderful people they're going to become yet, and to be patient.
The job has been an invaluable experience for me. For one, I am able to change multiple poopy diapers now without gagging, and I've learned that kids are constantly changing. You have to take each day at a time and not let yourself get overwhelmed.
It has increased my testimony that God wants us to learn something as parents, and raising children will likely teach us things that nothing else could if we're willing to turn to God to find out what He wanted us to learn.

Summer's Slipping By Us

So...I've been remiss in posting. I've been busy, then not too busy, then busy like crazy again. All in all though, I'm realizing that the summer is slipping by us. Ryan and I are looking forward to our vacation after next week.

I watched a documentary yesterday called: "Dying to be Thin", on anerexia and bulemia nervosa. It made me really appreciative of having the doctrines of the restored gospel...namely knowing that there was a war in Heaven, and that Satan persuaded his followers into losing their first estate or the chance to have a physical body. Have you ever noticed how much Satan tries to make people think that their bodies are ugly, fat, frail, worthless, etc. Interesting, coming from someone who doesn't even have the priviledge of having a body.

The interesting thing with these two eating disorders, (other than the fact that you can see that Satan is in the works, making them feel depressed like they're failures and leading them towards hospitalization and death) is they end up being addictive like drugs. Anorexics often struggle from anxiety, which seems decreased when they starve themselves because less seratonin is emitted in the brain... but then the brain adapts, and creates more receptors, so even a little seratonin goes a long way. Result: they have to keep starving themselves more to feel calm. Bulemic women can eat as much as 3,600 calories -- two days worth of food -- in one sitting. How? you may ask yourself. Don't they get full, like we do when we pig out on Thanksgiving?
Interestingly enough, they don't get that message. A normal stomach slowly empties food in to the small intestine, which stimulates the secretion of CCK (a hormone that tells the brain to get ready to stop eating 'cause we're going to get full). Probably more a result of them purging themselves than anything else, bulemics honestly stop getting that signal.

The reason why this documentary (which is by NOVA by the way) struck me so, is it has Satan's name written all over it. Women seem to be more suceptible to feeling bad about their bodies, and the media surely does its share to make you feel like you aren't the ideal if you're pants are a higher number than size 1. (Like 0 pants...does anyone understand that? How can you NOT exist. If they really label pants like that, people who buy those pants shouldn't have to pay for anything because they're not buying anything really).

In great contrast to the way that Satan works, God wants our happiness. He wants us to treat our bodies well, since they are a gift from Him. He wants us to be able to enjoy life the right way. I have felt in my life that He was more concerned about my self-confidence (so that I didn't just date guys that told me I was beautiful but got themselves encarcerated for drugs), about the shape of my heart...not the shape of my nose or the shape of my legs. When there is something He wants us to fix, He gives us hope and holds us by the hand to help us through. Satan totally abandons these poor girls who fall victim to his lies...it makes no difference to him if they're hospitalized or on the brink of death.

It was encouraging to see quite a few of them recover, with proper treatment...and the only thing that would've been better for me to see would be to see them find the restored gospel, and realize they really have a Heavenly Father who's created a plan of happiness for them, and who loved them enough to sacrifice His Only Begotton Son, Jesus Christ.

Remember, if you're feeling like you're having a bad hair day or whatever -- you have a body! A wonderful body that can smell, and dance, and sing, and twirl, and TASTE! Satan makes you focus on weaknesses. Like, say your life was a bowl of fruit, complete with apples, tangerines, grapes, oranges, papaya, guava, apricots, peaches, bananas, etc. Satan would direct you to the fact that you do not have a mango. He wouldn't tell you where to get one, just that you don't have one! Then you're sitting there crying "I don't have a mango! I can't believe it! You can hardly call this a fruit basket without a mango in it, can you!?!?"

Now, really... lets remember all the things you do have... and if it's important for you to have a mango...ask your Heavenly Father...I'm sure He could round one up for you if He feel's it's important to your eternal happiness and salvation. Main point is...let's not listen to the trash Satan would have us believe about our bodies. Let's appreciate that we have them, and give them the nutrition which will best help them function. Remember...Satan doesn't even have one.