Thoughts

I have had a lot of thoughts this last week, which I want to share:

Ryan and I like british BBC movies -- many are good, like Wooster and Jeeves, David Attenborough documentaries, 1900 or 1940's house, renditions of Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Elizabeth Gaskell, Shakespeare and other classics. The other day I picked one up from the library called "South Riding"... set in post WWI Britain. I didn't get very far into it until it showed something that for me was very disturbing and I turned it off. If one were to glean a depiction of the family from modern media, I think it would leave much to be desired.

What seems to be portrayed in much of media today shows either tortuous marriages with squabbling, fighting, and spouses who do not respect or care for one another, or idealic marriages where no compromises or personal growth are ever made; parent child relations which are contentious; and often marriage or children are portrayed as such a burden... as if they are a ball and chain. All of this gets under my skin -- really irking me -- and makes me realize just how wrong humanity becomes when they run off their own power. I think that there are many people who think that life is just this way -- that the honeymoon's over once the children are born, that fighting over finances is normal, that contention is normal... or on the flip-side, that think that somewhere out there there's a perfect spouse or perfect child where they'd never have to get on their knees and pray for help.

In General Conference, most of the talks that impacted me talked about the importance of the family... and how ultimately we cannot succeed in family or personal life without our Savior and the gospel. I particularly liked Elder Holland's and Elder Andersen's talks... If we are not constantly checking in and really asking for Christ's atonement to work in our lives, we won't be successful in our endeavors -- we'll just be going through the motions.

Case on point: This last week I had an experiment: Amy had seemingly for no apparent reason regressed with potty training, and as a parent, I was quite frustrated by it because I thought we were all done -- we had been for months and months. My 'natural' inclination was to give out punishment (no trips to the library, or no playing outside) or shame her (babies pee on the floor, I guess you'll have to wear a baby diaper again etc). Finally, after nothing was working, I started praying more earnestly because after all, Amy is God's child first and foremost. I felt reprimanded that my tactics had not been very Christ-like. I felt inspired to give praise and encouragement -- lots of "are you still dry? AWESOME!! You're such a big girl!!" I had to be helped even to remind myself to be positive that much and give her that much positive reinforcement... RESULT: Amy had no accidents at all this week and feels better about herself. "Honey catches more flies than vinegar". God cares about me and no one wants me to succeed more as mother than He does, but too often I rely on my own strength, and when I do I do not get very far and I do not improve.

This appears to me to be the case also in our relationships... we should remember that God is always there to help us. He loves us and wants our success in everything. He wants our ultimate happiness. God knows and loves those we interact with too. He is able to help us forgive others, love others, heal ourselves, improve ourselves or whatever is necessary for us to achieve the most important goals. If we rely on our own powers, we quickly find ourself running out of steam or creating too much steam. If we pray for help, God can help increase our capacity to love others or even to give positive reinforcement or encouragement when your natural inclination might be to punish them. :)

That is the main message I took from General Conference though, and this past week's experiences: When we stand on our own two feet, we fail. When we reach out to Christ, He lifts us higher and strengthens our capacity. 'Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies' -- IF they turn to Him and let Him. God is the ultimate trainer, and if we turn to Him, He'll give us the guidance we need to make us better individuals.

I hope you've had a good week too, and I hope that you and I can remember that God loves us,