Reorganizing the House

Why is it that when you start to clean, things reach a chaos level before it finds the new equilibrium? After visiting my friend Jessica I was inspired by how organized her house looked -- and how it seemed semi child friendly (meaning there weren't a hundred things that shouldn't be touched by children within reach). So, I came home and started changing things around. My friend Corinna was also helpful, coming to visit with her boys so I could see what was the first target.

I did not take before pictures, but let's just say that I used to have all my history books in this bookshelf on the floor... now it has cubbies for toys and child friendly objects. I moved the Christmas tree, which I should've put away before my nephew Andrew came to visit, but I was silly back then and thought that a simple "Don't touch" would keep him away (which it usually did, which just shows that he must be lots more obedient than I thought facing a constant temptation).

I also organized the Computer desk and moved some shelves upstairs. My friend Angeline also helped out by holding Amy while she was a bit clingy so I could make a bit more progress on things so it didn't look TOTALLY horrific. Once it's COMPLETELY cleaned up, I will post some pics to show you.

Naps and Messing with a Good Thing

Well...Amy must've been somewhat sleep deprived, because after three days of struggle trying to get her to nap during the day, she slept almost ALL of saturday except for feedings. Odd.

But, sometimes now I wonder if I messed with a good thing. Yesterday, she'd sleep for an hour, get up, eat, play for an hour and sleep for an hour. She did that most of the day, till Ryan came home and then she was SUPER cranky. Don't know why. Since she was changed and fed etc, we let her have some exercise, but it's hard for me sometimes not to feel that I ruined my perfect baby. Not that she's not precious now, but I admit, I miss her being happy and awake all day until evening and sleeping all through the night. She doesn't now. She gets up at 3:am usually, but sometimes as early as 2:am.

So, I thought, maybe I can go back -- maybe if I just read her signs of being tired and only put her down then, she won't be tired until evening. Nope. I switch between thinking it's my fault for trying to change her, and then thinking it's the book's fault. Well, I'm done pointing fingers... I figure I'm into it enough now, I guess I'll just have to see it through until she decides to have a routine and be happy for most of the time again.



There are highlights amid the fussiness and crying, there really are. For example, yesterday she was content to be in the swing and blow bubbles. She also smiles at he sun in the playpen thing that makes music...that's cute.

Having fun in a swing

Amy is having lots of fun in the swing and play ground that the Madsen family has lent to us. She is getting bigger and bigger everyday. Amy is still a little small to use the swing our friends the Hammonds lent to us.

How Do I get Amy to Nap?

Amy is a very happy baby... 99.99999999999 % of the time. Yet, recently, she's begun to be fussy in the evenings. I figured babys just do that and you can't have a perfect baby forever, but my sister thinks she's tired.

Let me tell you a bit about Amy -- very kindly, at about 3 weeks old, she started deciding to sleep for the most part through the night. She would wake up sometimes at 3 or 4, but usually would manage to go for 7-9 hours without feeding. She'll fall asleep on her own without much fuss...we just wrap her up like a burrito, put her in the bassinette and go to bed ourselves.

But, during the day, she cat naps...20 minutes here, 10 minutes there... sometimes, if I go for a walk and have her in the Baby Bjorn, she'll fall asleep. Monday I was up on campus talking to some of my old professors for almost 2 hours and she slept almost the entire time.

This is the problem I run into. I guess I don't see any "nap" signs. Or when I do, she seems to prove to me that she doesn't actually want to be put down in the bassinette. Case in point: she'll rub her eye...I wrap her and place her down with her binki. She fusses. Kicks her blankets and arms out. Coos and kicks. Spits her binki out about 30 times and fusses. So, I pick her up. It's not as if I'm standing over the bassinette while all this is happening. I only peek in on her when she really is more fussy and I notice her binki's out. How come at night she doesn't spit out her binki?

Jenny suggested I put her to sleep earlier at night and see if that helped her get more sleep and be less fussy in the evenings. So, last night I put her to bed at 8:30 (she usually goes down at 9:30 or 10:30). She was up at 3:30, waited a little longer when I put her binki in, but at 4:am definitely wanted to eat. I'm not complaining...she did go for a long stretch, but it wasn't as cool as having her sleep from 10:pm-6:30am like she usually does.

So here's my question to all you mothers out there: How do I get her to nap, without throwing off a REALLY good thing (namely having her sleep SOOOO well at night)?? Ideas?

Fun Pics

Amy is growing growing growing. Thankfully I have a camera. I was able to catch her smiling, and making another really funny face. If you are stressed, just look at this face: it makes me laugh every time.

Nightmares and Hidden Blessings

Note, it's 4 am. For most of you who don't know, I struggle with having nightmares. I don't know why, but my mind seems to sabotage me with visions of the cruelest aspects of humanity. I don't know if this is because for a while as a history major I studied genocides because I was trying to grasp HOW humans could do such awful things to each other. Yet, I had nightmares always as a kid too -- the awful part is how vivid they are. I still remember ones I had in 5th grade eons ago.

Every night before I go to bed, I pray that I'll have peaceful dreams and no nightmares, but sometimes I have them anyways. Does God love me? Of course. Why do I still have to have nightmares? I don't know. I usually snuggle up to Ryan and try to think hard while I'm falling back asleep about how we got engaged, married, sweet moments in my life with him... but sometimes one will be so vivid that I can't sleep afterwards... or in some sense I'm afraid to fall asleep again. Such is my lot right now.

I was feeling kind of sorry for myself and bothered by the fact that I seem to be robbed of my sleep (seeing as how if I'm awake, I feel I have control over my thoughts. I can sing a hymn, or look at Amy, or be distracted by the business of my day -- in my sleep I feel I have no control... or more the fact that I wake up having already had a nightmare...I never am offered the chance to change the fiends into teddy bears). Anyhow, I was feeling a little bummed... but checking the blog I was able to read a post by my cousin who is struggling with a major physical trial at present and perhaps indefinitely.

As I commented on her post, I was reminded of how much hope and happiness the gospel gives to me. These happier thoughts have almost blocked out the dream I'd had...so now I feel much more able to go back to bed and snuggle up to my soundly sleeping husband. We are supremely blessed by a Father in Heaven who loved us enough to sacrifice His Son as a ransom for us. I appreciate the difficulty a minute amount more now as a parent. I am grateful God was willing to allow His Only Begotten Son to be so sacrificed. I am grateful for the hope I have in the important things: the resurrection, eternal families, love and goodness. I'm grateful that one day Satan will be bound. And I look forward to a time when I no longer dream the dregs of humanity, but see all around me people loving and serving others. I know that there are hidden blessings everywhere -- I hope I can open my eyes to more of them.

Trying to Capture a Smile

I am having the hardest time capturing a smile on camera -- this is the best I could do. Amy coos a lot and smiles a lot, but it's hard to catch unless we could make a movie of it. She has really blue eyes, doesn't she?